People watching is the best show on earth...

Jul 15, 2007

Sex With Socks

. Jul 15, 2007

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I'm one of those irritating people that sits a bit too close to you at the beach. I only do this to someone with great eavesdropping potential. Today, I sat close to two women with two young girls, one wearing a bikini with bright orange polkadots and a giant straw hat twice the size of her head. She does a runway walk up and down the length of her towel, hand on hip, waving. I just have to hear what she has to say.

The girls are maybe five, white and both brunette. The other wears a "Dora" one piece and sits mesmerized by her friend's performance. The wind blows the model's straw hat off and at once the show is over. The two conspire together and then pick up what look like Bratz type dolls and settle into the sand to my left. I bury my head in my OK! magazine. After some gibber jabber:


Polkadot: Mine is having a baby and her name is gonna be Madison.
Dora: So is mine and she's having two babies and ... (Polkadot interrupts)
Polkadot: No she can't because she hasn't made one yet.
Dora: Yes she has.
Polkadot: No she has not.
Dora: Yeah!
Polkadot: Then say how she made one.
Dora: She just made it.
Polkadot: No that's not how.
Dora: Well how then?
Polkadot: She gets on her tummy on the bed and all her clothes are gone except for socks. Then the boyfriend stands at the end of the bed and unrolls his thing. Then it goes to the girl and tickles her feet. Then she laughs and puts the pillow over her head and when she wakes up there's a baby in her tummy.

Dora is silent.

13 Whispers:

Elaine said...

What a great idea for a blog! These stories are for real? Loved the one today with the little girls :-)

Vienne said...

Hi Elaine, thanks for commenting! Yes, these are real conversations. It's amazing what I hear when I just stop talking and listen. In fact, I often annoy my friends because I listen to other people's conversations when they're talking to me. So I try to limit my listening to when I'm alone, but it's addictive. Try listening in the juniors section of a clothing store...usually good stuff to be heard there. Vienne

Anonymous said...

This is too funny. Children think out loud without the social editing we learn to do as adults. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I could probably fill a whole blog like this with my kids' conversations. By the way I found your entry in my search result for slipper socks. The title made me click!

Daria Black said...

This is funny as all get out. My nieces and nephews continuously amaze me at the things that come out of their mouth unedited. All I can do sometimes is raise my eyebrows and try not to laugh.

I'm a writer as well so I love the idea of this blog.

Victorya said...

I love this! Ever go to those sites like overheardny etc.? Always a great resource for writers.

SingleMomWhoRocks said...

Great blog! I also love just listening to people....kids especially.

Vienne said...

Hi Ladies, thanks for speaking! I agree, eavesdropping is fruitful for my writing but has that edge to it that makes it exciting...like I'm getting away with something!

metaDAD said...

you might like this site; http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/, it seems like pretty believable entries. Even if they're not it's still a good read.

Vienne said...

Thanks, Meta! I will check that out. Beach talk is one of my favorite kinds to overhear.

Daisy said...

Oh. You mean that is not how babies are made?

Vienne said...

Haha Daisy! Thankfully, it's not, huh? Otherwise we'd all have 20 kids. :)

Manictastic said...

It's all in the tickling, I knew it :D

travesti said...
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