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Dec 21, 2008

Unwrapped Girls are Nothing But Trouble

. Dec 21, 2008


I am an all-day breakfast eater; I'll take eggs or pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Tonight, I stand in line with the dinner crowd at Archibald's, a local diner that serves delicious flame broiled burgers and seasoned fries. Sizzles and pops from the grill call out. The air is smokey sweet with the aroma of charbroiled beef. But I am here for a breakfast burrito, served all day.

I am three people away from the cash register. Behind me, a family of four waits to order - two parents, a teenage boy and an older man the young boy calls Pops. They speak casually and I hear the boy's father refer to the older man as "Daddy". Daddy has a thick southern accent and says, 'I tell you!' after sentences a lot. He wears a cap with a Kentucky Derby logo and a blue plaid flannel long-sleeved shirt along with dark jeans.

As I move one place closer to order, a gaggle of teenage girls bursts through the diner's entrance and bounces to the counter area to read the overhead menus. Shrill giggles, OMG!s and a 'Shut UP!' emit from the girls. All four are dressed for the beach on this unseasonably chilly California winter night. One girl wears particularly short shorts. The thin hot pink nylon clings to every curve of her young, tight apple butt leaving nothing to the imagination, including the little mounds of tan butt cheek peaking out from each side:

Daddy: Goo-ooood Lord. That gal just as soon walk around nekked.
Grandson: Ha! Come on, Pops. Lighten up! We're not as uptight as in your time anymore.
Daddy: Uptight? Uptiiiight! Listen here boy. Let me tell you somethin' you best remember your whole life through.
Grandson: Oh gawd.
Daddy: Ladies are meant to be unwrapped slowly, one small piece at a time. You go on get with some gal that's already flappin' her wrappers in the wind and you'll get nothing but trouble. Every time.
Grandson: Unwrapped? Like Christmas presents?
Daddy: That's right. A good woman is a gift.
Grandson: So Mom, when do I get to unwrap some girls?
Mom: When you're 30 or independently wealthy. Which ever comes first.

10 Whispers:

Anonymous said...

Uunwrapped girls are not just about trouble. =]
They are fun too.

Anonymous said...

Unwrapped girls... Sounds like toys. Crazy discussion. There are a lot of unwrapped girls, including me, that are proud of our selves, and not ashamed to show it. If somebody has a problem with thay, well, then it´s their trouble!

Anonymous said...

The "mom" only had one sentence in this whole story.. and it was the funniest. Thanks for the chuckle!

Torii said...

Lol. I love what the mom said and I think the Grandpa is right

Anonymous said...

I also love the mom comment, this is so funny.

Anonymous said...

Nice post.
Keep post.. ;)

Anonymous said...

Heh, thanks for the post. It made me smile :)

Anonymous said...

As an old saying says, premature apples are always bitter. So don't unwrap a girl before she is mentally matured.

JB said...

Gramps is right! The young dude'll find that out some day.....

The CBI Clubhouse

PostMimi said...

I don't want to comment on the unwrapped girl part, but the mom's comment is funny.The conversation sounds kind of stiff. Do people really still talk like that?

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