Hello? Goodbye.

I am sitting close to an older lady at the pool today, maybe mid-50s, Caucasian. She is very tan, with an orange tint. In fact, she's head to toe hues of orange. Her hair is yellow-bronze-orange-red, curly and shoulder length. She wears red lipstick and nail polish on toes and fingers. She has a water bottle with a straw but I don't think it contains water. She wears a pink tankini with a belly chain. The whole look just cannot be denied. About an hour into my stay her cell rings, the ring tone is "Brick House".

"Hello?"

"Ah, yes. Hi Jerry."

"Not a lot. Enjoying the sun. You?"

"Really? Hmmm. Well, that's exciting."

"Hahaha. You're kidding. Isn't that a kick?"

"Pardon? Oh, no, no I really can't. I've got to be in early tomorrow."

"No, really. I'm sorry. You call me next time, alright Jer?"

"Okay now, well I've got to take a dip. It's hot today. Bye bye now."

The cell clicks shut. She sighs, rubs her face, shakes her hair out.

"I've got to change my number", she says to no one in particular.

Surprise

I am at the pool today, with my giant sunglasses and "Who's your daddy?" visor. That can be a conversation starter, which I was up for today. But no one wanted to talk to me. I put my ear buds in and turn up the iPod. About an hour later, I turn it off.

Two girls claim chairs one down from mine. They are early 20s, white, talking loudly. A little buzzed, both hold cans of the Silver Bullet. One is very toned, tanned and quite striking with impressive boobs. She wears an emerald green string bikini, a belly ring with dangly charms and red fingernails. The other is heavier, paler, with burgundy and black hair in a short ponytail. She wears board shorts, a tank top and sports half sleeve tattoos on both arms. A Bettie Page portrait smiles on her shoulder:

Beauty: I am so glad we came out here. I just need to relax.

Bettie: Exactly. You're too stressed. You need to unpucker your asshole (wild laughter)!

Beauty: I might take Monday off, too. I told Mitchell I'm run down.

Bettie: That's good. You should. What did he say?

Beauty: Nothing. He just nodded. Then he asked me about ETCs (?) for Newport.

Bettie: What a jerk. What a jerk! You only work what, 60 hours a week? Fucker.

Beauty: Relax! I'll deal with it. Tuesday (more wild laughter)!

Bettie: Are you going to Mike's tonight?

Beauty: I guess. He says he misses me. He's just horny. What are you doing?

Bettie: I'd rather stay home and make out with you.