People watching is the best show on earth...

Sep 10, 2007

Secret Weapons

. Sep 10, 2007


I am at my salon for a color and trim. After my wash, I wait for my stylist to finish another client. Next to me sits an older lady getting her roots done. Foils cover her crown. She is white with blond hair on the shorter side. She wears pink lipstick and nail polish. A rather imposing diamond gleams on her left ring finger. A large Coach purse rests on the counter. She chats with her stylist, who continues painting her roots:

Client: Well, that Pavarotti's dead. Did you see that, honey?
Stylist: Who? Uh uh.
Client: Pavarotti, you know, the opera singer.
Stylist: Oh. Was he old?
Client: No he was not. Barely 70. But he had a young gal he left his wife for. Married 30 years and then poof! Off with a young one.
Stylist: No way! Was he handsome?
Client: No he was not. I'll tell you what, honey, a girl's gotta keep things up. Gotta keep our stuff in working order.
Stylist: Hahaha!
Client: I'm serious. These gals lettin' themselves go, carrying these giant butts around, no make-up, plain hair. Whoooo. You're playin' with fire right there.
Stylist: Well,
Client: Trust me, honey. I been married 54 years and ornery as my husband is, he's a happy little boy when a tight young waitress comes around. We're swimmin' with the sharks, honey. You get yourself a secret weapon.

Under the edge of a foil, she winks at her stylist in the mirror.

18 Whispers:

deathsweep said...

She sure sounds as if she's learned how to keep the enemy at bay! She had to be in her 70's herself yet was still worried about holding her man...after 54 years...must have been a wild half a century!


Vienne said...

For sure, Deathsweep! I'm in California but she sounded southern. That drawl made her advice even more convincing!

Anna said...

This is the cutest dialoge I read on your post, so real and yet it is real. Very nice, I really enjoyed reading it, Anna :)

Vienne said...

Thanks, Anna. I wanted to hang out with her, she intrigued me so much! Imagine what she'd tell you during a lunch after a few martinis. Although, she probably drinks bourbon, maybe whiskey!

Staci Rose said...

As a woman that carries around a big butt and doesn't wear make-up unless it's a special occasion or I'm preforming, this kind of attitude just makes me shake my head. There is more to life than one perspective...I suppose it also helped that he had a very nice sized bank account and would earn royalties for 70 years...and maybe, even, he and his wife became different people and he found someone that was more compatible.

Honestly, I'm a to each his own. And, also, I have been with my husband for six years come 10/2. Just to quash any suspicions on that. ;)

I do like this blog...I always find it interesting to run into the middle of a conversation. Sometimes you hear the most bizarre things...almost always, it's fairly interesting to enter the minds and lives of people you might not ever engage with otherwise. Kudos!

Vienne said...

Staci, points well-taken. I didn't have any make-up on when I went for my appointment and I caught myself feeling a little inferior next to this very well put together fire cracker. In any case, she was a character, I'm sure.

Lynn Emery said...

Well, I have to say girlfriend has a point. Men are visual creatures, so looking good is wise advice. I'd sure like to eavesdrop more of her pearls of wisdom :)

Lordmanilastone said...

I don't know much of her secret weapon but I can guess...

Lisa McGlaun said...

She reminds me of someone I knew once. I was 15 and she was in her 70's, a widow for many years.

We were sitting on the grass after a walk in the woods at a nearby park and she said, "Just remember honey that you can get anything you want from a man without giving up your body. It's all in the eyes and your voice."

I just giggled in my childish way but she went on.

"Benny (her longtime male friend) took me everywhere I wanted, bought me nice gifts, took me to Roseland Ballroom every weekend. Do you think I ever let him touch me? No way. No need for that. He was happy without it. You know why?" She put her hand to her chest. "He got my undivided attention and company."

Don't know if she was right but I never forgot what she said. Still makes me think about the roles of men and women in our society and the games we play with each other to fulfill our needs.

Thanks for this post, Vienne. Loved it.


Leann I Am said...

Secret weapon? Wow. And I thought love was enough....


I agree that we should maybe take some pride in our appearance, but that can mean different things to different people.

As much as my husband likes me to take care of myself, he didn't sign up to be married to another 'Paris Hilton in training' either. And I don't have time for it, either!

Happily Anonymous said...

I think she'd be a blast to hang out with. That short little snippet reminds me a little of my grandmother.

Vienne said...

Thanks for your comments! I've enjoyed speculating on what exactly she was referring to and the implications of women 'swimming with the sharks' as she put it. It's interesting how this post evokes different meanings for readers. Some see a sassy broad, others a superficial woman, another a lesson of attention being more meaningful than physical pleasure. I love it! I confess, I wish I could've heard the end of her conversation, but I was moved to another chair. Grrr.

~ Swan said...

Hello everyone!

How to keep your man?

I'll preface what I have to say, by telling you that I've been married to a wonderful man for many years, whom I met on the internet 3 years prior to that.

Contrary to public opinion, equality between the sexes is never favored by men. Men and women are both part of the 'Natural Order' just as lions and any other animal happen to be.

The 'Natural Order' determines that men are the more dominant species and the hunter/gatherers - while women are innately submissive and the nurturers.

One of the greatest problems ever to hit the 20th century, were the suffragettes and their their all consuming work to become not only equal with them, but better than men, continuously reaching for that glass ceiling.

This started off a chain reaction, that eventually led to terrible power struggles within relationships and caused the proven rise in divorces.

At the time, the new divorce law, that stated 'irreconcilable differences' was a direct result from not being able to state any other reason for one's divorce, other than; they didn't get along.

Those 'irreconcilable differences' when you think about it, actually mean that each person wanted to be in control of the other. You could apply the old adages; ""Too many cooks spoil the broth," or "It takes only one hand to stir the spoon."

There were reasons that both of these became wise adages.

If a woman truly does some deep introspection over a long period of time, perhaps she can once again reclaim her natural heritage and be happy in a life (such as mine.)

By being not only willing, but truly inwardly motivated to make a happy, loving, positive environment for your husband when he's not at the office; you'll find that he can't help but respond to you with gratitude for the happy home life you provide.

Be attentive when he speaks. Many wives give responses over their shoulder, when spoken to by their man; it doesn't exactly make him feel like what he has to say (or even that he) is important.


Provide a little humor;

Try to find the humor in his jokes and laugh - don't groan;

Call him at work, just to say; "I was thinking about you and just had to hear your voice;"

Cook his favorite meals, even if they take a little longer;

Put little notes in his briefcase before work, saying lovely things about him, not just "I love you." Those three words have been watered down over the years and you'll find that couples today say it to each other almost by rote, without actually feeling that way.

There must be a million things more that I can think of and that's why I am writing a book on the topic!

Though this note is now in the public domain; everything in it is copyrighted and already written down in point form for my book.

So please be nice everyone, don't plagiarize huh?

I do apologize Vienne, for taking up so much room in your comments section, but I just couldn't find a place to stop! ;)
~ Swan

Lisa McGlaun said...


I agree with Swan up to a point. I do all of those things she is talking about, being attentive, listening, doing little things for my husband but...

I do them because that's the way I treat someone I love..I don't do it to show submissiveness.

He treats me the same way in return. In a partnership there is no need for a power struggle.

I'm very happy being equal and attentive at the same time as is he. (by the way, he's standing near me giving input and wants women to know that real men who are comfortable in their own skins do not expect submissiveness..they want partners.)


Vienne said...

Thanks Swan & Lisa for your perspectives. I see my own relationship more as a partnership of the kind Lisa describes. I don't try to be better, stronger, weaker, smarter than my man. I just try to love him. Depending on what comes our way either he or I will be strong for the other. It just feels natural that way. Swan, I do like your emphasis on showing your guy how important he is to you, rather than just telling. Actions always speak louder than words, as they say.

BoydGreeneArt said...

Awesome story. You are a blast. My grandfather was a great storyteller. Very nice.

Vienne said...

Hi boydgreene, thank you! Both sets of my grandparents lived overseas and I never got to know them as a grandchild should. I feel like I missed out on all the stories they held as memories. By all accounts, my maternal grandmother was a definite character. She swam every day until her 96th year and loved to wear bright orange!

Divorce Forms said...

That's an interesting concept ~Swan, but don't you think its a bit feminist?


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